THE ROLLER COASTER OF LIFE ......

Today was an awesome day for me ….. I have reached the 15kg mark in my journey.  I feel happy, so very happy, that I am 15kg lighter, but more than that, I feel happy because I have kept on going and kept on moving through my journey one day at a time.  I feel happy because I have made the effort and looked ahead to my goal and kept believing that I can achieve it.  I still have things to achieve and I have not reached my goal yet, but I am that little bit closer.

This past week was a hard one.  We found out that the Ride to Conquer Cancer had been cancelled here in Adelaide and the goal that I had been working for was gone.  Well that is not entirely true, my goal to be fitter and healthier had not gone, but the 200klm ride in November had.  For the first two days I felt gutted, devastated at what had happened.  But, as they say, life goes on and I am feeling better now.  Our goal as a team The Mixed Nuts was to raise money for cancer, and that dream and goal has not gone.  We may not have the bike ride right now, but there are other events that we will take part in and fund raisers that we will put on to continue to raise money for research into cancer and assistance for those with cancer; that goal will never change.  I guess I had to refocus and think about what was really  important; what really mattered.  

On the 23rd of March we are walking in the MARCH FOR MELANOMA.  See details below.

I’ve realised more now, than ever that life definitely has it’s ups

and downs and of course, no matter how positive you try to remain, you will always have your down days.  A bit like a Roller Coaster.  I am slowly learning that the best way to deal with that is to accept that that is what is happening and realise that it is only temporary.  The best thing that you can do for your own sake is not to place too much emphasis on how you are feeling.  Do not give it too much attention.  That might seem simplistic, but I am learning that it is what you need to do.

I liken it to a small child, who throws a tantrum; mostly done to get their own way and to get attention.  If you focus on the tantrum and give it the attention that the child wants, then invariably the next time there is a similar situation, exactly the same thing will happen.  However, if you ignore the child and the tantrum, more likely than not, it will stop eventually and the child will move on, realising that it is not going to get its own way.  What do you think will happen the next time the child wants to get its own way?  Either the child will realise before the tantrum even starts that they are not going to get their own way, or they will start the tantrum and very quickly realise that nothing is going to come of all the carry on, and give up on the idea.

Likewise, if we focus on the negatives, the fact that we slipped up

or that we might have put on a kilo in weight, it will become much bigger than it really is: a mountain out of a mole hill as they say.  We are very quickly likely to give up and go backwards.  However, if we don’t give credence to small slip up that we have made and focus on the positives; what we actually have achieved, then the positives will quickly become our focus rather than the negative.   One small slip up does not mean that you will go backwards; it is a small slip up, just that and nothing more. 

I am learning so much along the way in my journey to a healthier and happier me.  I am learning that I am truly the only one that can achieve this goal; that I am the one with the ability to keep on going.  I’m learning that I can do this one day at a time, one small goal at a time.  

TO MY GRANDCHILDREN .....

To my Grandchildren,

I know you are out there somewhere and I am not sure what you know about me.  I wonder do you even know that I exist.  I wonder if there are times when you ask your mum or dad where I am.

Although I have never met any of you, you hold a little place in my heart, the place that is reserved for grandchildren.  I love you because you are all a part of my children, children that I had and that I love.  You are the good part of them.  The part of them that is good and wonderful.

I do not know what it is like to be a grandmother.  I do not know what it is like to hold you in my arms and kiss your sweet little faces.  I do not know that beautiful newborn smell that is only there when you are very new.  I know that I will never have that blessing. 

One day I pray that I will see your beautiful sweet faces and hold you in my arms.  One day I pray that you will know how very much I love you all.  You may be grown up  and not the little ones that you are now, but I will still love you no matter how old you are.

I miss your mum and dad so much and I wish that things could be different.  I wish I knew a way to make it all different.  But there is no way that I can do that.  I have no control over any of that.

I want you to know that I have tried and all I want is a chance to be able to love you and see you and be your grandmother.  I would love a chance to see your mum and dad again and to tell them how very much I love them.   That no matter what has happened, there is a way for forgiveness and love and peace.

Someday little ones I pray that we will meet and have a chance to get to know each other, but until then you will stay in my heart and always be a part of me.

All my love always

xoxoxo

DO NOT LIVE WITH REGRET .......

I’m learning as I travel along in my journey that success does not come without WORK.  I guess I always knew that, but am realising just what an important part of achieving what you 

want it is.

Success comes in many forms and is different for everyone.  What is successful to you may not mean success to someone with an entirely different goal.

I hit hurdles in my journey each day.  When I go walking in the morning, there are moments when I want to give up.  When I am at the gym and my personal trainer asks me to do those few extra rotations of an exercise and I am really feeling it, and I just want to stop, I tell myself I can do it, that I can push myself just that little bit harder.  I am learning that I am able to achieve something, but that I just have to stay focused and keep going towards my ultimate goal.

I love that I am learning about myself and what I am capable of.  I am realising that many people give up, at that very point when if they just pushed themselves that little bit harder they could make it, and they would make it. 

I don’t believe that any of us really know, as human beings, what we are capable of, for I don’t believe that we ever really reach our full potential.  I think that many times we allow fear to hinder our potential, to stop us from reaching our goals. 

Faith is perhaps the greatest thing that we can have in ourselves.  Faith, that

we have the ability to achieve the goal that we are aiming for.  Faith, that no matter how difficult our journey or how unattainable our goal may seem that we can and will reach that goal. 

I believe that it is in the ‘doing’, that we are able to see what we are capable of.  How many people say “oh, I can’t do this, or I can’t do that”, but they never really set the goal, aim for it, and then try or do what they have to do to achieve the goal.

I know that for me, making this journey is already proving to be a good thing for.  It is showing me and teaching me that I am capable of so much more than I think.  It is a good feeling every day when I walk or when I workout at the gym that I am able to do that one thing that gets me closer to my goal. 

I am learning that I do not want to live with regret.  That at the end of my life, I do not want to say, “I wish I had done this, or I wish I had done that”.  I know I would feel sad if I didn’t. 

So I have set my goal; to ride in the RIDE TO CONQUER CANCER …. and I am doing all that I can to achieve that goal.  The road is not always easy; there are potholes and diversions along the way.  I may fall over or even hit the gravel once in a while, but it is in getting back up and walking or getting back up and riding again, that I realise that I have the potential to do this; I have the potential to achieve the goal that I have set myself.  I may not be able to see the end result right now, although as I walk I imagine the end; but I have faith that I can do it, I believe that I can do it and I aim to succeed at my goal.

My greatest joy will be at the end of the ride when I go over the finish line

with my other team members and I put my arm up in the air and I can say, I DID IT … I DID IT.  Then I will know how it feels to win.  Not to win a race, but to win at achievement, to achieve my goal and all the work will be worth it.

CELEBRATE THE JOURNEY ......

Well I did it, made it through another walk.  

Today was hard ... I did not want to go walking ..... found it very hard to get up.  Had to do a lot of good self-talk.  Not sure why but today was harder than any other day since I started out.  But I put one foot in front of the other and walked.  My time was not great, but I did it ....... and I increased my walk by another .5 of a kilometre.  

At this point I had to try and think of how far I had come .... although it was a struggle to do that, I did think about it.  I have come a long way.  It is so hard when you feel negative to think of the positives, just like when you are going through the bad, it's hard to think of the good.  

Today I realised that, that is what you have to do.  You have to look to the achievements and celebrate those, for those are the things that get you through the days that are not so good.

Today I walked 3.5klm ..... that is 2.5klm further than the day that I started out on this journey.   When I started this journey I walked 1klm and was totally wrecked when I got home.  I literally thought that I was going to die.  As dramatic as that sounds I was so unfit, I think that my body was literally in total protest at what I had just done.

I started out this journey on the 23rd December walking 1klm and now 5 weeks later I am walking 3.5klm 3 times per week and I am going to the gym 3 times per week as well.  That is my achievement up to this point.  

So despite how I felt this morning and how much of a struggle it was, and even though I don't feel like celebrating .... I have achieved something,  I have come a long way in that short period of time.  I have kept on going ..... one foot in front of the other .... I have done it .... one day at a time.

TAKING THE GOOD WITH THE NOT SO GOOD ....

The last 2 days of my journey have not been so good.  To say that things are always positive would be to deny those times when things are just that little bit tougher.  I have been working at being positive and for the most part I have been.

The challenge over the past few days has been my eating.  Not so healthy I would have to say.  Not entirely bad, but just not as good as it could be.  I am sure that we all have those days.  I am trying so hard to stay on track, but in the past 2 days I just seemed to let myself go a bit.  Eating things that I wouldn't normally eat and just eating that little bit too much.  

We all have times when we do this I guess and why should I be

any different.  I have been thinking about the challenge of me doing this and realised that it is not so much about doing this, but rather getting back on track again.  Realising that what you do over a couple of days is not the end of it all.  It has a lot to do with what you say to yourself, your self-talk.  It's about .... do you go with the negative thoughts that enter your head, or tell yourself positives and that you can get back on track.

In the past I guess I would have just done the whole DOWNWARD SPIRAL to failure thing.  I would not have had very good self-talk and this would have impacted totally on whether I FAILED or SUCCEEDED.

I had a late night last night and so it was hard to get up this morning and go for my walk.  My alarm went off and I did not want to move from the bed, but I said to myself "you can lay here, or you can get up and keep on going."  I will admit, it was a challenge to get my feet on the floor.  But I don't want to fall back or fail.  I want to keep on going.  I want to be healthy, fit and feeling good physically.  So I got out of bed and went for my walk.  I am glad that I did and it gave me encouragement for another time when I am feeling not so good, to get up and get going.
 


To anyone out there who wants to achieve something but feels

they can't ..... well I'm here to tell you that you can.  YOU CAN DO IT ... and only you can do it.  You can start right here and now by making a goal and working towards it, one step at a time .... and little by little you will get there.  It won't always be easy and you will have challenges, but you will get there in the end.  

I think it is about desire; desire to achieve your goals.  It's about knowing that you can keep going even when you don't feel like it.  To make it to the end result.  So today is a new day, a new start and I realise now more than ever that it is about keeping on going, putting one foot in front of the other day in and day out, and never giving up.

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DO SOMETHING TODAY ....

Some days are harder than others.  Every day is not the same.  One day you are climbing up a hill and the next you are going down the other side.  I am no different to anyone else struggling to reach their goal, to move towards their challenge.

When the alarm goes off in the morning, my eyes slowly come open and I don't always readily jump out of bed.... I hit snooze, hoping for just another few mins of sleep.  Sometimes I have to gently encourage my legs to swing out and hit the floor.  I lull myself into a false sense of security for one moment and then off goes the alarm again.  This time I am not so gentle with myself, I firmly say to myself ... "Right, that's it, get those feet on the floor and get moving".

As I dress in my shorts and t-shirt and with runners on my feet...... I put one foot in front of the other.  I open the front door and check the weather outside, just for one brief moment.  "That's it, get going", says my inner voice.  

So I step out through the front door and I move off.  Once I get going and start off down the street, it really isn't so bad.  As I move further along the street I feel a sense of purpose.  That purpose at this moment is for me to lose weight, become healthier and to get fit.  I want to be fit to ride that bike on the 29th and 30th of November this year.  It is my dream right now to achieve this goal.    I have no doubt that I will achieve my goal, rise to meeting the challenge that I have set myself.

If you are reading my blog now and you have a dream or a goal that you would like to achieve, then go for it, do it.  Don't let anybody steal your dream.  I am just an ordinary person, like everybody else, I am no one special, and if I can do it, then you can to.

It is not easy to do this, but as the mantra I have adopted says, I can do this, achieve this goal, one small step at a time and one day at a time.

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I LOOK TO THE FUTURE .....

My journey keeps on going ….. I am on the road to my goal and working at it every day...... putting one foot in front of the other and taking one day at a time. 

 

Every day I look to the future.  I have a small plaque at work that says:

 

I look to the future ….

because that’s where I’m going to spend

the rest of my life.

 

I am building a new life for me.  This week has been a good one.  My progress has been steady.  I have been continually challenged both physically and mentally.  This is a good thing as I see it.  It is helping me to see what I am capable of and can ultimately achieve.

 

I have been to the Gym 3 days this week and walked 3 mornings this week.  It has been a true stretch of my capability.  I am learning so much about myself.  At the end of my workout on Friday I thought to myself, between puffing and panting, what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. 

 

So far I have lost 5.2kgs and I am so excited.  Best of all is that my habits have changed so much in such a short period of time.  One of the best things is the fact that I am now eating more regularly over the day.  I used to get up in the morning and then sometimes I wouldn’t have anything to eat until lunch time.  Not a good idea at all.  If you do this, then don’t.  It does nothing for your metabolism …… except slow it down and makes you feel hungrier at the end of the day.

 

Things that have changed since I started on this journey:

 

• I am eating regularly throughout the day.  3 good meals and snacks in between.
• I am exercising ….. going to the gym and walking 6 days out of 7.
• I am feeling heaps better.  More energy and strength.
• I have a greater level of motivation than ever before.
• I am more focused and constantly challenge any negative thoughts.

 

If anyone had told me just a few short weeks ago, that I would be where I am today, I probably would have laughed at them and thought they were out of their mind.  I have learnt that what you say to yourself; your self-talk is so very important.  Mine has improved out of site.

 

If you want to achieve something then the most important thing that you can do is to love yourself enough to do it.  Make a decision to do it.  Set your goals and then work towards those goals and never ever give up on the dream. 

 

It is the dream that keeps me going.  I picture my dream every day and visualise what it will feel like to be there.  During my workouts and when I walk if it gets tough then I just keep telling myself "you can do it, you can do it".  I cannot wait to go over the finish line of the Ride to Conquer Cancer, arm held high in the air, saying “I did it, I did it”, knowing that I have made it to my goal.