I'M GOING TO DO IT MY WAY

This time 21 years ago I was in the throws of labour.  Right about now, 30 mins before the blessed event, I was pretty tired and I'd had about enough.  At this point I'd been in labour for about twenty-seven and a half hours.  Yep, that's right twenty-seven and a half hours.  No mistake there.  Thank goodness for the nurses who thought I'd had enough and said I should have an epidural .... why didn't someone suggest that with my other births. 

I think I should have known at that point that this journey was not going to be a straight forward one.  I can just picture my little baby girl waiting to come into this world and she was saying "I'll come when I'm ready, I'm going to do it my way".  I think that has been Miss A's mantra from before birth.  

At 8.19pm on the 21st of August, my fifth and last child, a girl, came into the world, weighing 71b 14oz.  I knew before her birth that she was going to be a girl.  Call it mother's intuition, whatever, but I knew I was going to have a girl.  So at birth, her gender was no surprise to me.  She was beautiful.  She had more hair than any of the others.  She somehow was 'my' child.  There were reasons that I felt that way and they were to become more evident as time went on.  

"Look at me, I'm a bride mum"

Miss A has always been the adventurous child, the active child, the child that lived life and danced to the beat of a different drum.  She saw life through very different eyes and that became more and more evident as time went on and as she grew up.  Miss A has faced many challenges in her life and the road has not been easy for any of us as a family. 

She is my baby, although now she is not a baby any longer.  Today she is 21. Today she is a woman and yet she still has the child like innocence of a child.  As a mother her behaviour has challenged me to the limit sometimes ..... all that and more.  She was the child at the supermarket that threw a tantrum in the checkout aisle and when you tried to pick her up, she'd kick and scream and yell that you were hurting her, even when everyone could see that nothing of the sort was happening.  Boy did I take back all the things I said about those mothers with their children acting up when I was younger, when they were out shopping and the child was throwing a tantrum and I thought, what a terrible mother, why doesn't she just smack that child.  I took it all back.

Miss A was the child who would take off from home, and when you had searched and searched for her and couldn't find her and you were either on the phone to the police, or were ready to call the police, she would turn up at the front door, with not a clue of the drama she had caused.  I would say to her where were you, I couldn't find you and I was worried about you, she would say "I knew where I was".  

She was the child with no fear.  She would talk to people without fear of what would happen.  She came into the world and said I am who I am, and no one can take that away from me.  

Despite the challenges, I love my girl.  She can be loud and frustrating and yet so gentle and kind.     She is generous to a fault.  My beautiful girl has taught me courage and surprises me with how well she can stand up for who she is.  She makes me feel proud that she is my daughter.   

I love my girl because she is who she is and because she came into this world to be with me and share my life.  We have walked the path together, facing life in the good times and the bad.  I believe that Heavenly Father blesses us with the things that we need in our lives and he also blesses us with the people and family to come with us and help us along our journey in this life.  Miss A is one of those rare and beautiful blessings.



I just want my girl to know that she can hold her head up high and be proud of the beautiful woman that she has become and how grateful I am to have her as my daughter.  Love you Miss A with all my heart.