Saturday, April 14, 2012

MEMORIES ..... yours alone to keep

L to R - My Mum - Judith, my grandmother - Amy,
my great-grandmother - Eva, my great great
grandmother - Alice (Gigi).
Taken - December 25, 1958 (3 months before I was born).

Do you ever look at a photo and think how much time has passed and all that has happened since it was taken?

Do you ever wonder where all that time went?

Do you ever think about the people in the photo and ponder all the memories that you have, both good and bad?

Do you ever wish that you could have a time back in your life?

Do you ever wish that you could go back to a simpler time in life, a time when things were not so complicated ?

So much has happened in my life since the top photo was taken.  The above photo was taken 3 months before I was born, 3 months before I came into this world.  4 generations of one family, hard to believe.

The next photo was taken when my twin sister and I were about 11, almost 12 and then there were 5 generations.  My great great grandmother, the lady sitting in the middle of the photo was 99 years old when she died.  I still marvel that we had 5 generations living in our family at the time. Such a blessing.

We were to be blessed twice more in our family to have 5 living generations - once when my niece was born and the next time was when my great nephew was born.

I look at this fig tree and wonder ....
How old is this tree?
How long has it been here?
What has it seen in it's lifetime?
What struggles did it have to get to where it is now?
Was it tended or just left to grow on it's own?
What is it's life expectancy?
Will it be there forever ?
Will it eventually die ?
Will it be alive long after me ?

When I look at photos of my children as little ones, I think of all the time that has gone by.  I look at my son here and he is so little .....   Everything is so new and fun to him.  He is learning about life.  He is experiencing things that will help him to find his place in the world.  To find out who he is and where he is going.

This young baby is now a man, has a son of his own and will be 28 this year.  How the years fly by.

My middle child, my son who was 1 year old in this photo, will be 26 in a few weeks.  Our children are always our babies, I think that's just how mother's feel about their children. 

All we hope for our children is that they will have a good life, that they will do some good in the world.  That they will grow to be good people who will be able to function in the world as we know it.

I just want my children to be better than I am.  To live a worthwhile life, with purpose.  That they will have good characters and care about others.

Looking at these photos and thinking about my children makes me realise how no man is an island.  We all share our lives with others.  We are influenced by others as to what we do in our lives.  We influence others by our actions, by the way we treat others.

Do we think about the impact that we have on the lives of others, either for good or for bad.  Hopefully it is for good.

All we can hope is that we have taught our children enough that they will be the kind of people that we want them to be.

I look into the faces of my little ones in these photos and I get a warm feeling inside as I remember how beautiful they were at that age.  How gorgeous and cuddly they were.  How protective you felt of them.  

But then as they grow up and move on, you can't protect them any more.  You have to let them grow up and become their own person.  You have to let me be the human being that their potential allows them to be.   

Sometimes you even wish they could be that little again, especially when they are asserting their 'authority' and I know better than you attitude, citing "you wouldn't know how I feel".  Knowing all the time that you have been there, done that, and know exactly how they feel.  Wishing that you could take away their pain, but knowing that you can't.

You remember the times when they were happy, smiling at the fact that you were just talking to them.  Giving them attention.

Smiling just because everything in life brings them joy.  Everything in life is a new and wonderful experience.

You realise was a beautiful and wonderful blessing they are in your life and so you smile back and never want them to grow up.  You want them to stay just the way they are.

"Look Mum, I'm a bride"

You see the creativity that is in them, as they role play, to learn about life.  

When they do things that are so amazing and beautiful and you feel so proud of who they are.

You see their beauty, their soul, their innocence and you hope that they will always be that way.

I have lovely memories of this photo .....
When I asked what she was, she said to me "Look Mum, I'm a bride", and she thought she was so beautiful.

And just quietly ..... I did too.

Sometimes life changes and it doesn't work out the way you want it to.  You don't always have control over what your children do or what they become, or where they go with and in their lives.  You have to learn to live with that.  However, no one can ever take your memories away from you.  No one can ever change what you hold dear in your mind and in your heart.  Those memories are yours alone to keep and reflect on.  


1 comment:

Charlotte said...

What a beautiful post. I cherish all the sweet moments I have with Jaimeson, but boy is time flying by. I can't believe my baby is almost 1. Not a baby any more! I'm so glad we live in a day and age of photographs, look at all those sweet moments and faces you have captured there. So special. :)